#mine: jake and amy

[forbescaroline]

235 FAVORITE SHIPS OF ALL TIME (ranked by my followers) 02. jake peralta and amy santiago - brooklyn nine nine

[ncutii-gatwa]

Brooklyn Nine-Nine | 05.04 "HalloVeen"

[arabellas]

BROOKLYN NINE-NINE 1.01 | Pilot

[alexisrosemullens]

Jake & Amy in Yippie Kayak

[occasionaloranges]

it gets me every time 😫

[trash-rules]

"When you love someone, you work it out. You don't just throw it away, you might never get it again."

Nocturnal Animals (2016)

[soundsofmyuniverse]

[transexualpirate]

peraltiago are literally t4t btw. idk what to tell you. it's literally canon

[x-lulu]

every time someone steps up and says who they are the world becomes a better, more interesting place

lu’s watchlist in 2023 - brooklyn nine nine

[agerefandomrambles]

Title: exam stress

Word count: 691

Little! Amy

Cg! Jake

Warnings: none :)

Plot: When the stress of her lutientant exam catches up to her, jake tries helps her to relax despite his nerves

Amy is sitting in the room, having just finished her practice test. The rest of the officers file out of the room as she sits, staring at the test with tears brimming in her eyes.

"Babe? How'd you d- oh" Jake stops himself mid sentence when Amy looks up at him with watery eyes. "That bad, huh?" He tuts, lowering himself down to her level.

"Not bad." She whimpers, shoving her test in his face. He gently takes it, noting the 102% scribbled in the front.

"Awe that's great Hun! Wait, why are you upset?" He asks, confused.

"All gonna change. I'm gonna leave or be boss. Don't want change" Amy mutters through her tears, avoiding eye contact.

"Oh. I know. Change is scary." Jake murmers, pulling her in for a hug. "Are you feeling little Ames?" He asks after a moment, trying to keep the panic out of his voice.

She nods, still with her face buried in his chest. His breath stutters a little. "OK ok ok ok ok. Cool cool cool cool cool" He murmers, mind racing. "Um... I'm going to go find Holt alright kiddo?"

Amy whines and grips onto him tighter. "Don't leave!" She whimpers, panic evident in her voice. Jake looks at her with panic in his eyes as he realises how little she is.

After a moment of deliberation, he picks her up and takes him with her as he walks towards Holts office, glaring at anyone who looks their way.

He doesn't even knock before letting himself in. "Captain! Amy's little and I'm not and I don't know what to do!" He says quickly. He stops rather suddenly when he registers Terry sitting in Holts chair.

"Whoa jake slow down. What's the matter?" Terry says easily, looking up from his paperwork.

"Amy's little and I'm not and I don't know what to do. I've never watched a little before." Jake says, still with a hint of panic in his voice but much slower then before.

"It's not that hard Perolta. Put on some cartoons, give her some juice and snacks and do some colouring in. Amy's a pretty easy little Jake, you just gotta calm down first" Terry chuckles, getting up.

He walks over and takes Amy with some difficulty. He rocks her gently, and within seconds she stops crying and starts to blink heavily.

"See Jake. As long as you're calm, she will be. Why don't you go set up the nursery and I'll take an early lunch to prepare some snacks"

Jake walks into the regression room and pulls out a colouring book and pulls up Bluey on the screen. He pauses for a moment before walking out to grab Amy. He does a quick scan of himself and determines that he is safely nowhere near regressing

"Hey kiddo! Look at what I've got!" Jake greets quietly when he walking in to the kitchen to a half asleep Amy sipping some juice in Terry's arms.

Amy pulls her head up and curiously asks, "what you got?"

Jake just grins and hands her her favourite bumblebee paci. "I thought you might want this for some big bro time." He says, taking her from Terry. She whines at the movement but settles quickly and happily sips her juice.

"Thanks for helping out Terry. I've never been the babysitter before."

"No worries Jake. I'm used to it. I've got to get back to my paperwork now though. You gonna be ok?" Terry replies easily, smiling gently at the asleep Amy in Jake's arms.

"Yeah I've got her Sarge" He says, smiling at his girlfriend as she rests peacefully.

The 3 adults split ways, Terry back to his paperwork and Jake takes Amy into the little room, placing her in the cot for her nap.

When she wakes up, he colours with her and watches TV and plays hide and seek and when his shift ends, he takes her home.

She ages up on the ride home, and the 2 chat all the way home, enjoying each other's company. It isn't until night time when Jake drops hard and Amy gets to repay the favour.

[erumari]

I remember discovering B99 way back 2018 because someone theorized here on tumblr that it was deliberate that Gina chose to wear a white gown because she knows that something disastrous will likely come up on the day of Jake and Amy's wedding day

[ncutii-gatwa]

Brooklyn Nine-Nine | 02.23 "Johnny and Dora"

[jake-and-amy-are-married]

Strip tease

Jake secretly takes a Magic Mike class for their 10th anniversary, falls, and sprains his ankle.

Then they spend the anniversary in bed lol.

When he gets better they try again, and she ravages him lol.

[seresinhangmanjake]

The One I Want: Part 9

Jake "Hangman" Seresin x plus size!reader

Summary: You’re new in town and some guy named Jake is about to be your roommate. Being skeptical of new people keeps you lonely and uninterested in any entanglements, but Jake is desperate to change that.

Notes/Warnings: traumatic past, mention of death, very likely typos

Words: 1342

The One I Want Masterlist

“Can you see?”

“Yes,” Jake says, leading you across the sand with only the moon illuminating his path to the shore. But even that can hardly be considered sufficient, to you at least, as night’s clouds move at a good pace, frequently dulling the glow. Your toes dig into the grains in an effort to find some sense of balance in the darkness, but you're no better than a newborn deer, remaining steady only by Jake’s firm hand. “Don’t step there.”

You’re pulled to the left just before your bare foot lands on a sharp shell and you stumble into his side. “Why did you want to tell me here?”

“I like it here.” Abruptly stopping, Jake drops onto the sand. “This is a good spot,” he says, then releases your hand to pat the sand in front of where he sits. 

“You want me to sit there?”

“Mhmm.”

“Between your legs?”

He glances down to the spot in question before staring back up at you. “That’s the idea,” he says. At the apprehension on your face, Jake snickers and lightly wraps his fingers around your wrist, his thumb smoothing over the delicate skin above your pulse. “Come on, you know I don’t bite.”

“You haven’t had much of an opportunity to bite.”

Jake laughs louder, his head briefly throwing back before he raises a brow. “You were on my lap a few hours ago, but this is where you draw the line?”

“Is that a problem?”

“Nope, just trying to get my bearings.”

His smile is impossible to deny. It’s bright and wide and you feel it tugging at your insides, making you want to spread your lips in a grin of your own and nestle yourself into the space he has made for you. Taking a couple of steps forward, you ease yourself down in front of him. When you are where he wants you, he scoots closer until his legs flank your hips and he wraps his arms around your waist, guiding your back against his chest. Any of the budding hesitancy at his closeness on this beach slips away. 

“See, it’s nice, isn’t it?”

You roll your eyes at the playful smugness in his voice and concede. “Fine.”

He doesn't speak again, not for a bit, and in that time the clouds learn to avoid the moon. It reflects clearly off the waves, helping your vision adjust to the darkness, and suddenly you can appreciate why he likes it. It is peace in its closest physical form. And it tells you plenty before Jake even opens his mouth for another word. Whatever he plans to tell you, he wants to balance it out with something within his control: his surroundings. 

“Are you sure you want to tell me?” you ask.

“You more than anyone,” he says. His breath sways the stray hairs by your ear. “It’s not a long story.”

“For whose convenience? Not for mine, right?”

“Not for anyones, it’s just doesn’t contain many added details.” You nod to let him know you understand, then with an exhale heavy enough to shoot a bolt of anxious energy through you, he begins. “I was eighteen, and getting ready to leave for the Academy soon. My sister Amy was already studying at a university about five hours from our town in Texas, but she was coming home for the summer and, as perfect parents do, they went to get her rather than have her find other means of transportation. My father took off work that day just to drive hours with my mother to bring home their daughter when most kids were spending their money on plane and train tickets to get home,” he says. “They were on their way back, and they, um…” With his pause, his head shakes behind you before his chin perches atop your shoulder. You try to twist to face him but his arms encompassing you don’t allow it. For a minute, he just breathes. He stares where you stare, at the waves crashing over the shore before they slink back to join the rest of the ocean. He hears what you hear: the movement of the water, your synchronized inhales and exhales, but hopefully not the pounding of your heart. When his head lifts he presses a kiss to the spot where your neck and shoulder meet. His next words you can feel before they leave his lips. “They didn’t come back.”

Tears prick at the corners of your eyes. “H-How?”

“Rain,” he mutters. “Poor luck.”

Your hand slides along his forearm until your fingers are resting over his. He spreads them enough for you to sneak yours in between. “Jake–”

“It was a long time ago. I’ve made my peace with it in a lot of ways,” he says. “Anyway, my grandmother stayed with me at the house while everything was arranged and settled, and a few months later, I left.”

“Did you still want to go?”

“I don’t know,” he sighs. “They would’ve wanted me to go, so I did. But I realized I was about to be by myself for the first time in my life and I couldn’t believe how much it terrified me when just a couple of months before I was so excited for that freedom. I knew people would be everywhere at the Academy, but I didn’t know any of them.”  

You think of him lost and alone, so unlike the man you know him to be, and instead, so much like yourself. In one place and then another. Familiar with the faces surrounding him and then not. Parents, and then no parents. It doesn’t matter that Jake is stronger than you in every way nameable, finding resilience in the face of such tragedy is damn near impossible, and it breaks your heart for him.

“But then we were assigned roommates,” he continues, “and mine just happened to be decent enough to help me survive the year.”

“Javy?”

Jake hums in agreement. “It’s not that I can’t be alone. I’ve lived alone before, but I like having someone around, sharing my space. It just hasn’t always worked out too well.” His arms tighten around your waist and he shifts as if it might help pull you in closer. The warmth of lips lay a line of kisses up your neck, stopping just below your ear. “But sometimes it does,” he whispers. 

There are more kisses. They make their way over sections of your skin. He presses them into the curve of your jaw, into your shoulder, and when he pushes your hair aside, a few are planted on the back of your neck. Your eyelids flutter and close as you let yourself meld with the tingling sensation. 

“I need to ask you something,” he says softly, and you hum. “You said this is your eleventh new place.” Your eyes shoot open. “Do you intend for there to be a twelfth?”

Swallowing, you reply, “I never intended for there to be an eleventh, or tenth, or nin–”

“You know what I’m asking, beautiful.”

You do, because it’s something you’ve asked yourself plenty of times. No, you don’t intend for there to be a twelfth, but your moves between towns are not planned. They are dependent on the actions of others which are not within your control. You want to stay with Jake, in this town, with people who didn’t think twice about accepting you, but you’re not delusional as to the possibilities awaiting you that might rip everything away. “Jake, I don’t want to leave.”

“Good.” Again, he rests his chin on your shoulder, and again, he lets moments pass in silence. Then he says, “I’ve been meaning to tell you, it’s my birthday next week. Nat’s setting up a party at Penny’s bar. I want you to come but if you’re uncomfortable being there I understand.”

“I’ll come,” you say, because you’re well aware it’s the least you could do for him. 

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

Though you can’t see it, Jake’s smile radiates. “Thank you.”

---

tags: @wkndwlff @kmc1989 @sagittarius-flowerchild @dempy @oliviah-25 @rosiahills22 @xoxabs88xox @matisse556 @hardballoonlove @ssa-sadboi @lynnevanss @pono-pura-vida @tgmreader @amgluvsbooks @ravenhood2792 @djs8891 @shakespeareanwannabe @sailor-aviator @penguin876 @tgmavericklover @athenabarnes @emilyoflanternhill @wretchedmo @shanimallina87 @crowsreadsarahjmaas @mamachasesmayhem @sky2nd @jessicab1991 @rosedurin @averyhotchner @horseshoegirl @elite4cekalyma @buckysteveloki-me @shelbycillian @kissmethric3 @fox-bee926 @hangmandruigandmav @waltermis @fandom-life-12 @a-serene-place-to-be @bruher @tngrace @mamaskillerqueen @emma8895eb @benedictsvestcollection @blackwidownat2814 @himbos-on-ice @hookslove1592 @whoeverineedtobe @alwaysclassyeagle @chaytea06 @cherrycolas-things

[miryum]

"HalloVeen"

Summary: Detective!Jason Todd x detective!Reader based on Jake and Amy’s relationship

Series Warnings: Swearing, descriptions of violence (but nothing descriptive), guns and other police stuff

Series Masterlist

At the strike of two in the morning, Y/n woke. “Halloween,” she whispered. “Mua-ha-ha-ha,” she cackled, sitting up in bed. “It's heist time!”

Suddenly, Jason bolted up next to Y/n and she shrieked. “Thought you could get a head start on heist prep?” he asked, raising a brow. “I'm already dressed.” He threw back the covers to reveal his jeans and red button up shirt.

“I'm also dressed, and I made breakfast,” she boasted. She threw back her side of the covers to show an empty plate that had residue of syrup and pancake chunks.

“Wait, where are my pancakes?” she mumbled.

“In my belly,” a new voice thundered and clicked the bedroom lamp on. Y/n screamed loudly and Jason immediately threw himself on top of her to protect her, grabbing the gun from the bedside table. Captain Wayne sat by the lamp ominously. “Now get a move on. It's heist time!”

From underneath Jason, Y/n whooped and exclaimed, “I fucking love Halloween!”

“Some of you have asked me why I have joined this heist,” Jason monologued at the front of the briefing room. “Was it the fun activities? Don't be stupid. Was it the precinct comradery? Of course not, I hate all of you.” He waved a hand around to brush off all of the offending comments. But as Y/n looked sadly up at him, he sighed and grumbled, “except my lovely girlfriend. But no, the only reason I have joined this heist is because I have been tired of being a background character in these heists. So today, I pledge to win this Halloween heist. It is the most important Halloween heist of them all.” He cleared his throat and added, “because it’s the fifth one. Obviously.”

Wayne interrupted, shoving Jason out of the way. “This year, we compete for the most elegant and regal of all prizes…” He held up a large championship boxer belt. “A championship cummerbund.”

“Or belt, as normal people call it,” Y/n muttered. 

“Belt,” Wayne scoffed. “I'd like to see the pair of slacks whose loops are large enough for this belt. No, it is a cummerbund.” He gestured theatrically to it.

“Well, whatever it is,” Y/n began.

“Cummerbund,” Wayne coughed into his hand.

Y/n rolled her eyes and continued, “it's inscribed with the words, ‘amazing human-slash-genius.’ The objective is to have it in your possession at midnight.”

“Every woman for herself,” Cass grinned.

“It's like ‘Bachelor in Paradise,’” Steph commented. She looked at the spot next to her to high-five Damian, only to remember that he had taken the week off to study for a big test he had in law school.

Dick stood up and clicked his tongue. “I’m gonna sit this one out.” The rest of the group shouted at him, calling him out and booing. Dick simply held up his hands in surrender and walked out. 

Jason spread his arms and began, “all I will say is–”

“You are the human equivalent to a participation trophy,” Wayne interrupted him for the second time.

Jason crossed his arms and glared at his Captain. “Insult me all you want, for I have only this to say–”

“Victory shall be mine!” Y/n yelled along with her boyfriend. At Jason’s surprised look, Y/n hissed threateningly, “I heard you practising in the shower. You can't surprise me. Letting me into your life was the worst mistake you ever made!”

“Fun take on our relationship,” Jason muttered.

“Well, I for one thing you're perfect for each other,” Wayne snarked.

“Feel like there's gonna be more,” Y/n mumbled.

“Because you're both losers,” Bruce finished.

“There it is.”

“Now, if everyone would rise,” the Captain instructed and lifted his arms dramatically.

Y/n’s eyes gleamed with mischief as she added in a whisper, “rise like the army of the dead, and follow me into the bullpen of destiny.” After everyone did her bidding, she snatched the cummerbund from Wayne and explained, “this heist, the belt will not be locked up or hidden away. It will be suspended from the ceiling in plain sight – for all to see.”

“How poetic,” Jason said simply. “It will hang just out of reach, like Tantalus' fruit.”

Y/n’s face scrunched in confusion and disgust. “Yes, that's where I got the inspiration from; Greek mythology, not an episode of the Nickelodeon show ‘Guts.’” 

Jason rolled his eyes affectionately and helped his girlfriend up onto a small step stool. “Darling, will you please do the honours?” he asked, holding firmly onto her hips so she wouldn’t fall.

The female detective hooked the belt onto a thin string and announced, “the belt is in place. Whoever has it at midnight will be declared the–” Suddenly, all the lights cut out and there was a chorus of screams.

“What's going on?”

“What's happening?”

“I can't see!” someone added helpfully.

“Everybody grab something,” Captain Wayne’s voice boomed out.

Y/n shrieked out, “he didn’t mean me, Jay!”

The lights then flashed back on and Bruce held up a fist. “Silence,” he demanded slowly. He then pointed at the empty string that was swinging from the ceiling. “It’s gone,” he muttered. “The cummerbund is gone!”

“Who took it?” Y/n asked.

“We're all here,” Jason glanced around to confirm.

“Where'd it go?” Steph patted her pockets as if checking for the huge cummerbund.

Y/n gasped and then hissed out, “nowhere. It's still in this room!” She whirled towards Wayne and as she exclaimed, “in fact, it's right here!” she slapped her hand against her captain’s stomach. Feeling nothing but skin, she grumbled, “nope, it's just your tummy.”

“I don't have the cummerbund,” Wayne retorted, rounding on Jason, “because it's right here!” He slapped his hand against his detective’s stomach. His brows furrowed and Wayne commented, “that is surprisingly toned, Todd.”

Ignoring Wayne’s odd remark, Jason turned around and punched Dick in the gut. “Or is it right here?”

Dick groaned and doubled-over. Y/n looked up at her boyfriend and asked quietly, “how come you didn’t hit me in the tummy?”

“Because I didn’t want to hurt you, sweetheart,” he murmured back. “And I wanted to punch Dick.”

“Oh. Okay.” She accepted that answer and smiled at everyone in the precinct.

A new voice rang out, surprising everyone as they turned around. “Over here, losers.” A man stood by the door to Captain Wayne’s office, a hoodie zipped all the way up to the top, even obscuring their face. “This is Damian al Guhl. All of you truly thought you could do this without me?” The figure had their hands stuffed in their pockets and the detectives could almost feel his deathly stare.

“Dami!” Y/n accused. “I should have known it was you, you punk.”

“Yeah, you punk,” Steph jumped on the bandwagon, smirking. “Why aren't you showing your face, you punk?”

“Yeah,” Damian scoffed. “I am studying for a test. I have not showered in three weeks.”

“Oh.”

Damian presented the ultimatum. “Now, if any of you wish to find the cummerbund, you must work for it. Behind my desk are files of paperwork I have not completed and notes I need transferred into index cards. There is a clue for each file you conclude.” He then threw up a very un-Damian-like peace sign and walked out of the bullpen.

Y/n scoffed, “this is crazy. I mean, no one is actually gonna do Dami’s dumb chores, right?”

“Right, absolutely not.” Jason crossed his arms.

“It's completely ridiculous,” Wayne agreed.

Everyone exchanged suspicious looks before collectively lunging towards Daimian’s desk. “I got the murder case!” Steph screamed.

“You can all suck it!” Cass growled, clutching a thick folder and running out of the room.

Y/n snuck into the archives. She turned to see Stephanie already there, grinning. “They fell for it,” Y/n said, throwing her folder of paperwork to the side.

“Hell yeah they did!” Steph high-fived her bestie just when the door opened. The two women whipped their heads to it, ready to fight off an intruder or spy, but it turned out to be a familiar friend. 

“Hey, guys,” Curran greeted with a smile.

“And right on time, here's Curran.” Y/n pressed her hands together and bowed. “Welcome.”

“So, did you have any issues getting into the vents?” Stephanie asked.

“Went like clockwork,” Curran reassured.

As Curran tried to pry open a vent, an officer tapped him on the shoulder and said in a gruff voice, “sir, only authorised personnel are allowed up here.” Curran turned around, ready to defend himself, when the officer corrected himself and said in a much lighter tone, “oh, Detective Todd, I didn't see it was you.”

Curran’s eyes narrowed and he nodded slowly. “Yes. I am Jason Todd. Goodbye now.” He then disappeared into the vents.

The man continued, “anyway, once I got in the vents, it was smooth sailing.”

As the lights in the precinct went out and everyone screamed, Curran reached down from the vents and snagged the belt. He wiggled down from the vents and shrugged into a sweatshirt after clipping the belt around himself. When he zipped up the sweatshirt, it hid the belt perfectly. He then emerged and greeted the detectives as Damian. “Over here, losers.”

“I gotta say, man, your Damian impression was spot-on,” Steph complimented.

Curran informed them, “yes, I’m known for being a good impersonator. I use it to trick people into thinking their boss or spouse found out that they’re involved in the mob and am able to blackmail them.”

“Right, I forgot you were in the mafia,” Y/n put her hands on her hips, nodding along.

“Here's the belt…” Curran unzipped his Damian hoodie and revealed the cummerbund. 

Y/n made some grabbing hands and her eyes were wide with reverence. Maybe a little drool pooled in her mouth, who would know? “Ah…” she murmured, “she's a beaut.”

Brown stepped up beside her bestie and pretended to examine the belt in Curran’s hands before suddenly slapping handcuffs on Y/n and latching her to a shelf that held boxes of old cases. 

“Ow! Steph, what are you doing?!” Y/n cried. 

The detective shook her head and replied in a solemn voice. “The hardest thing I've ever done: betraying you.” She held her hand out to Curran. “The belt, please.”

As Curran handed the large golden belt to Stephanie, Y/n gasped. “Curran, you're in on this too?”

“Yep. She paid me. I’m in a horrid debt to the mob.”

Y/n looked around desperately. “No, look, listen to me, don't do this, okay?” she pleaded. She looked like she was about to beg, but then switched tactics and huffed, “this is crazy. You're never gonna get out of here with that belt on your own.”

“I'm not on my own,” Steph corrected. “I have an alliance.” In walked Cass and Dick, standing next to Steph in solidarity. 

“An alliance,” Y/n gaped. “It's not ‘Bachelor in Paradise.’ It's ‘Survivor!’ And Cass, I am very disappointed in you.”

“Your approval means nothing to me.”

Y/n didn’t look hurt at all, almost like she suspected it. “Copy that. And Dick, I knew you were playing. Last year was a setup.”

The sergeant scoffed and freely admitted, “hell yeah, it was. I’m playing the long game. I'm sick of you, Tim, and Wayne winning. You're all so damn smug about it.”

“Yeah,” Steph grinned. “You guys may be champs, but this year… This year belongs to The Tramps!”

“Stephanie, that's a bad name.” Y/n grimaced and shook her head.

Her best friend shook her head back and stuck her tongue out for extra measure. “You're just jealous. Everyone loves it.”

“No,” Cass muttered.

“It’s… not the best,” Grayson tried to let his detective down easy.

Steph brushed all their insults off. “Curran, keep an eye on her,” she ordered. She turned dramatically and called, “let's go, Tramps.”

“Steph, no! No!” Y/n yelled out as the door clicked shut. She was now stuck with fake-Jason/fake-Damian while handcuffed to a shelf. She continued screaming for someone until she saw her boyfriend walk past. “Jason! Jay, in here! In here. Help! Help.”

“Hello, fake me,” Jason greeted once he entered, nodding his head in greeting.

Curran raised a hand. “Hi.”

“Hello, tied-up Y/n,” Jason leaned forward and gave his girl a small kiss on the cheek before taking a step back.

Y/n smiled sweetly and greeted him softly as he kissed her. But then she whined, “will you please help me get out of this? It's not for the heist. I just really have to pee.”

“I know you only pee once a day,” Jason commented simply. “And you went this morning.”

“Damn it, you know me so well!” Y/n cursed. “All right, how about this? I've got top secret info about various dealings. If you let me out of these cuffs… I'll share it with you.”

The man raised a brow. “What kind of info?”

His girlfriend smirked and bartered, “well, first off, Hoodie Damian–”

“Was just a ruse so you and Steph could steal the belt,” Jason finished.

Y/n spluttered a moment before saying, “yeah-huh, but also–”

“Steph teamed up with Cass and Dick to form The Tramps,” Jason completed.

“Gah! How did you know that?!” Y/n exclaimed.

Jason smirked, copying Y/n’s smug expression from a moment before. “I gave her the idea last year.”

“Damian’s one of the champs,” Steph muttered exactly a year ago as everyone celebrated in Odin’s bar. “And I'm just one of the tramps.”

Jason gasped. “Ooh, The Tramps,” he repeated. “That's a great name for something. I just don't know what.” He shook his head sadly and walked away.

Steph grinned and murmured under her breath, “but I do.”

“I told you,” Jason said smoothly, leaning down closer to Y/n. “I'll always be one step ahead of you. You can't surprise me.” Curran awkwardly watched the rising sexual tension from the side of the room.

“Look, there are three Tramps,” Y/n stated. “The only way we're gonna win is if we team up.”

Jason hummed and mused, “good point. I guess my response is… rot in hell, doll-face! Also, I love you, and I treasure you so much.” He smiled softly at Y/n and kissed her cheek again. “I promise I’ll make it up to you tonight, okay? I got something planned.” 

“God, you're being so contradicting,” Y/n scoffed. “Geez, man, I love you too, but just so you know, the Devil and I would be besties.”

“Buh-bye, sweetheart,” Jason waggled his fingers in goodbye before sweeping out of the room.

Steph and her accomplices hurried into the mainframe room where the large technological structure stood. “Looks like we're all clear. Good job, guys,” she praised. “Oh, nothing can stop this Tramp train.”

“Brown, please stop finding variations on a word we hate.” Cass rolled her eyes.

“Okay, you two, lift up the super heavy thing that no one else is strong enough to lift by themselves,” Steph instructed. Cass and Dick exchanged a look before each squatting down and lifting the server up by a couple of inches. They grunted under the effort, but Steph took her sweet time sliding the cummerbund under it before the two officers let the structure drop.

After Cass caught her breath, she said, “I set up an electric eye yesterday, so if anyone enters, an alarm will go off.” She clicked a button on her phone and a series of red laser lines appeared in the doorway. “Let's move.”

Cain easily lept over the beam with her years of ballerina training. Dick lifted himself up on the doorway using his acrobatic skills and added an extra flip for flair. “Cool, yeah, that's something I can do, without any problem.” Steph stared after them, still on the opposite side of the alarm. She took a running jump and fell flat across the lasers. A shrill beeping emitted from Cass’ phone. “Alarm works,” Steph grunted out.

Meanwhile, back in the archives, Y/n tried pulling on her handcuff. When that didn’t succeed, she hyped herself up, saying, “all right, fine, looks like I'm gonna have to ‘127 Hours’ this fucker.”

“You're gonna cut off your own arm?” Curran asked from where he was sitting against the wall.

“Is that how it ends?” Y/n exclaimed. “Oh, man, I got busy with a robbery and my rental period expired.” She added, “I thought he just wiggled out.” After a moment of silence, she groaned out, “come on, will you just please uncuff me? You gotta, man. I've never treated you like a mobber.”

“You just did,” Curran pointed out.

“Touché. Alright, how about this?” Y/n bargained, “I will pay you… double the amount Brown paid you.”

At that, Curran raised a brow. “Three thousand?”

“What?!” Y/n cried out. “She gave you over a thousand grand?!” She let out a loud groan, stomping her foot. “Alright, fine, I'm in.”

Captain Wayne had a stack of Damian’s scribbled notes to his left and a stack of blank index cards to his right. He carefully underlined and highlighted words and phrases before muttering, “and where is the Masterpiece Cakeshop v. Colorado Civil Rights Commission case? I pity the law school al Guhl attends.” He huffed and pedalled a bit harder. Under the table was a contraption that looked like a bicycle, but the tires and handles were missing. The chains were connected to a thick rope that stretched to a hole behind his desk that in turn, connected to the server room downstairs. The more Wayne pedalled, the more the mainframe lifted off the ground.

Tim knocked on the door before sticking his head in. “Hey, Captain, something's going on with this heist. You tell us everything you know, and I’ll tell you everything we know.” His voice slurred a bit and Wayne studied him carefully, eyes narrowing.

“I'd rather not.”

“Jokes on you,” Tim huffed, his hand raising to knock on the door again. In his other hand was a large mug of coffee. “We don't know anything. And by ‘we,’ I mean me and the voices in my head.”

“Well, good day then,” Wayne nodded, excusing Tim from his office. The mainframe lifted enough for Ace, Wayne’s dog, to scurry under the lasers and grab the championship belt in his teeth. He saw it all on the security cameras. 

Tim nodded back. He turned on his heel and Wayne sighed in relief. A small bead of sweat ran down his temple. Then Tim turned back slowly, squinting. “Wait, why are you sweating?”

“I'm not sweating.”

“No,” Tim sneezed before continuing, “I've had enough almost heart attacks and coffee attacks to know what sweating looks like, and that's sweat.”

Wayne puffed up his chest and rebutted, “well, if I'm sweating, as you claim, it's because I was watching an… exciting video on the net.” Ace made it past the lasers, cummerbund secured. His owner released the pedals and the server fell back down with a thud.

“Really?” Tim glanced at his computer like he wanted to see. “What was it?”

“It was,” Wayne slowly weaved his story, “a video of an American gymnast. His leotard ripped, exposing his butt.” He cleared his throat and said in the most Captain-y voice he could muster, “it was highly erotic.”

Tim said instantly, “you're lying. I.T. just installed blocker software, thanks to Damian researching if it was legal to kill a coworker.”

“Uh, yes, but they didn't install it on my computer, because I'm a captain.”

The detective scrutinised his superior. “You don't look hot and bothered at all to me,” he grumbled. After a beat, he demanded, “show me the erotica.”

“Good sir, I assure you, there's nothing to see.” Wayne glared, ending the conversation. He stood up abruptly. “Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to grab some fresh air.” He briskly walked out to the roof, just in time for Ace to scurry out with him. “Good boy, Ace,” he commended. “Bring me that cummerbund.” He knelt down and Ace dropped the belt before chasing his tail with a bark. “Wait a minute…” Wayne peered at the belt and realised, “this isn't the championship cummerbund. This is some common cummerbund.” He glanced down at Ace and did a double-take. He sneered, “and you're not Ace. You're just some common bitch.”

“Just get me out of these,” Y/n grumbled, twisted in her handcuffs as Curran fiddled with the lock.

Steph threw open the door to find the scene. “Hey, what's going on here?” 

“Didn't think I could get out of my cuffs, did you, Brown?” Y/n laughed just as Curran got her cuffs undone. She rubbed her wrists thankfully. “But you forgot about one important thing…”

“Curran’s crippling debt!” Both women exclaimed at the same time, one in realisation and the other in victory. Y/n quickly twisted Stephanie’s arm behind her torso and slapped the handcuffs onto her. “Sorry, Steph, but I really wanna win this year! Watch her, Curran,” she instructed before hurrying out the door.

The detective ran to Wayne’s office and easily pulled up the security camera footage on his computer. “What have I missed? What's going on?” she muttered to herself. She easily deduced, “Wayne used Ace to steal the belt. But that's not Ace. Wayne and Ace always walk in a perfect lockstep. Which means someone took Ace, and that person has the belt. But who? Who took Ace?” Her eyes locked on her beloved Jason just as he sneezed. “Bless you,” she said automatically. “Wait. He sneezed. Mild dog allergies. Which means that Jaybaby took…”

“Ace!” Wayne bellowed from the bullpen, making all detectives stand at attention. Y/n ran out to see what was happening. “Where is my dog?” their Captain demanded.

“Aren't you standing right next to him?” Dick asked.

Wayne scoffed. “This bitch? Please. Watch this.” He bent down and held out his hand. “Shake. Shake.” The faux-Ace did no such thing. “Idiot. I know one of you took Cheddar, and you did it for the sake of the heist, but if anything happens to him, I will end you.” He threatened, staring each of his detectives in the eye. “I couldn't bring myself to neuter Ace, but I will neuter you all.” Just then, a dog that looked exactly the same as the canine sitting beside Wayne trotted into the room. “Ace? Ace?!” Bruce squatted again and held out his hand. “Shake.” Ace held out his paw and placed it firmly in his owner’s hand. “Ah, good grip, pristine coat,” he evaluated. “That's my doggie!” he crowed. He then remembered, “you betrayed me. You'll explain yourself later. Return to my office.” Ace did what was instructed.

It was that moment, after Wayne’s monologue, that Cass realised, “wait, where’s Brown? Did she betray us?”

Dick shook his head. “She wouldn’t do that.”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Bruce held up a finger as his phone beeped. “I put a GPS tracker on the belt. It's on the move, and it's going fast!”

“Let's take my bike,” Cass exclaimed, turning to Dick. “They'll never catch us.”

Dick chuckled dramatically and threw up a peace sign. “Later, dorks.” The pair ran out of the bullpen.

“Should we follow them?” Jason asked Wayne and Y/n.

Wayne scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Good luck keeping up with me. I've done my morning callisthenics.” With that, he began power walking out, muttering, “heel, ball, toe, heel, ball, toe.”

“Oh, I'll keep up with you,” Y/n poked her tongue in her cheek. She jolted forward as if she was going to chase after him, making Wayne pick up the pace. “In hell,” she added maliciously. “Mwahahahahahahaha!” She turned towards the evidence room, skipping towards it.

She saw her boyfriend crouching down by the boxes and strolled up to him. “Hello, Jason,” she greeted formally. 

Jason jumped at the sound of her voice. “Ack! What…? Y/n! What are you doing here? And why aren't you out looking for the belt?”

“You and I both know the belt never left the precinct,” Y/n answered easily. 

“I don't know that,” Jason said quickly. Almost too quickly. “Nobody knows that.” His nose wrinkled a bit.

Y/n made a show of walking around the evidence room. “My only question is, which box is the belt in?” she wondered aloud.

“Well, good luck figuring it out,” Jason smirked. “Because the clock is ticking, my dearest sweetheart.”

Y/n pointed to a box on the lowest shelf. “It's that one,” she said simply. “The dust pattern on top doesn't match its neighbours.” She walked to the box and picked it up. Resting on her hip, she boasted, “you see, Jay, I'm always gonna be one step ahead of you. You've lost the ability to surprise me. You’re just boring.” She shook her head sadly, taking the cummerbund out of the evidence box.

“Again, weird take on a very loving relationship,” Jason muttered.

“And it's midnight, so I guess I'm an amazing human-slash-genius!” Y/n grinned proudly.

“Yeah.” Jason cleared his throat and then added, “Although… you might wanna read the inscription on that belt.”

“Why?” Y/n’s face dropped and she held up the belt. “Oh, no, what does it say?” Her brows furrowed as she read off, “Y/n L/n, will you marry me?"

“Surprise,” Jason whispered, now kneeling on the ground in front of her, holding out a ring box. The diamond sparkled against the precinct lights. But Y/n wasn’t looking at the stone. She was looking at the love in Jason’s eyes.

Y/n sucked in a breath. “I'm so confused…” she admitted, tears beginning to prick at her eyes. “I don't know what's happening right now.”

“‘I'm so confused, I don't know what's happening right now,’” Jason listed off. “Title of your sex tape.”

“Oh, my God, I'm shaking,” Y/n laughed, wiping at her tears. “Wait, is this really happening? Is this part of the heist?” she asked desperately. “If this is part of the heist, I will dump you so hard.” She pointed a finger at him, but her hand was shaking slightly.

“No, please, Y/n, it's really happening, okay?” he murmured, reassuring her. Only his girl would think that. “It's not part of the heist. I promise you, this is real.”

Y/n’s chin wobbled a bit. “It is?”

“Yeah.” Jason himself was tearing up, sniffling a bit. “Sweetheart, I love you. I love how smart you are. I love how beautiful you are. You're kind, and you're funny, and you're the best person I know, and the best detective. Also, for reals, I love your butt.”

“I love yours too,” Y/n reassured him, laughing at the inside joke.

“Y/n L/n… With all the love in this world, will you marry me?”

“Jason Todd, I will marry you. I love you so much.”

“To Y/n and Jason!” Dick raised his glass in toast. Everyone was at Odin’s bar, celebrating the engagement.

Everyone parroted, “to Y/n and Jason!” The couple beamed and shared a quick kiss, Y/n tucked under Jason’s arm. 

Wayne cleared his throat. “Wonderful, wonderful. So, since Todd altered the cummerbund, no one won the heist this year. Is that what everyone's thinking?”

Everyone’s faces fell slightly and Dick warned, “Captain…”

“Right, right, sorry,” the older man apologised. “It’s not the time. I'm so happy for you both,” he said truthfully, raising his glass again to the pair.

“So, Jason,” Steph grinned. “Tell us everything.”

“Did you call Y/n’s dad first?” Tim asked.

“I actually did,” Jason said, looking very proud of himself.

Jason paced the sidewalk anxiously, talking quickly into his phone. “Mr. L/n, I'm calling to inform you that I plan to ask your daughter to marry me, but since it's the twenty-first century, I am not asking you for your permission, as she is not your property, nor would she be mine, if she chooses to say yes. She's a strong independent woman, and she doesn’t need a man. That being said, I truly hope she says yes as I love her very much, but it's her decision, so respectfully, back off!”

“Aww, that was perfect,” Y/n cooed. “What did he say?”

“I have no idea, I left a voicemail. I'm terrified of him.”

Steph laughed and then prompted, “how’d you decide to ask?”

Jason exhaled, smiling softly. “I decided to ask Y/n to marry me on July 28th,” he said, looking down at his fiancée.

Y/n and Jason sat on the couch one July night. Y/n was wrapped in one of Jason’s sweaters even though it was seventy degrees outside. She took a huge forkful of Chinese food and shoved it in her mouth. “Oh my god, this is so good,” she moaned. “Jay, you have to try some, love.” She stabbed at the food, but then glared at it and shook her head. “Wait, no, that’s not a good part. Let me get you a better bit.” She dished around for a piece she found acceptable before handing it out to Jason.

From across the couch, Jason could only smile lovingly at her.

“I don't get it,” Tim said bluntly.

Dick agreed, “Yeah, it seems pretty normal.”

“I don't know what to tell you.” Jason shrugged. “That's just when I knew.”

“Romantic epiphanies are dope,” Cass declared.

“Thank you, Cass,” Jason huffed, looking towards everyone else expectantly. “They are dope.”

Stephanie then let out a squeal. “I'm so happy you two are getting married! You’re made for each other!”

Y/n laughed joyously and turned to Jason. “Oh my god, we're getting married.”

“We're getting married!” he repeated, grinning and kissing her squarely on the lips.

“And no one won the heist,” Wayne declared.

“Captain!”

[threalcrabbysamantha]

you know Kataang really kind of perfectly encapsulates the issues I have with a lot of friends-to-lovers dynamics

Let me preface this by saying: I have a fraught relationship with friends to lovers. Some of it I love (Jess and Nick from New Girl, Jake and Amy from BK99), but there’s a version of friends to lovers that I absolutely despise. I call it the Power Fantasy F2L.

In this version of friends to lovers, often one person pines for the other oblivious one, who, usually after some romantic trials and tribulations of their own, turn and realize that their friend was worth loving all along. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth for a couple reasons, namely that often at least one person in this pairing is treating the other one very badly (cough cough Colin being a dick to Penelope behind her back at the end of season 2 of Bridgerton).

More than anything though, I think the problem is that most of these relationships don’t belong in this category at all because the pairing is never really friends to begin with.

Let’s look at the most classic example of friends to lovers: Jim and Pam from the Office. Now look, I love Jim and Pam, okay? Ultimately I do like that they end up together, but they’ve never reached a favorite ship of mine by any means because they have PROBLEMS, namely that Jim doesn’t really like Pam all that much.

Okay yes it’s a bold statement, and some people are going to hate me for saying it, but Jim is not interested in Pam’s friendship ever in the show. He’s interested in being with her romantically, and that’s why he confesses that he loves her when she’s engaged (and clearly expects her to reciprocate), then leaves when she rejects him, and then when he comes back he does not try in any genuine way to rekindle their friendship. Of course, he’s not obligated to, and it makes sense if his feelings are hurt and he’s crushed and he needs space. But it’s hard to claim that he values Pam’s friendship, since he does everything in his power not to nurture their friendship in season three. She’s the object of his desires, not his friend.

This is true of Ross and Rachel on Friends as well. It’s also true of Stiles and Lydia in Teen Wolf, though I’d argue they manage to walk that one back a little bit because he kind of releases his obsession with her somewhat before they get together.

And it’s true of Kataang.

Is Aang really Katara’s friend? Maybe more than Jim is Pam’s friend, but when someone has girlfriend-zoned you from the first moment you met, I’m inclined to think you aren’t really friends, are you? Aang‘s obsession with Katara means he can’t really see her (note his inability to understand her during the Southern Raiders episode especially) and causes him to run head first past any of her own feelings to center his own need to be with her romantically.

How is that friendship?

And maybe this is all very personal. I know there are people who appreciate this version of friends to lovers. People went feral for Polin this spring, and Jim and Pam are maybe one of The Favorite Couples of all time. And Kataang obviously has its fans. But to me, friends to lovers is only satisfying if it’s like Jess and Nick from New Girl: two people who love each other so much, it doesn’t matter what form their relationship takes. They’re in each other’s corner, even if that corner takes them to a different romantic interest. They really see each other, flaws and all, and it’s that recognition that ultimately brings them together.